JOKES

What does Persephone use to measure the fields of her mother, the goddess of agriculture?
De-meter stick!

Why won't anyone sit next to the 1st person singular future active indicative of 'amāre'?
It has -BŌ!

What is a Roman Farmer's favorite soda?
Agri Cola

I couldn't remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500 on my Latin test!
I was so LIVID!

Why will the 3rd and 4th conjugations become old maids?
... because there are no 'bōs' in their future!

How do you make a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!

How did Diocletian divide the Roman Empire?
With a pair of Caesars.

What is Fozzie Bear's favorite animal?
Vacca! Vacca! Vacca!

If 'mōns' means "mountain" and 'fōns' means "fountain", shouldn't 'pōns' mean "pountain"?

A Roman magician says to his captivated crowd “For my final act, I will disappear on the count of three! Unus, duo…”  And he disappeared without a ‘trēs’!

A guy walks into a Roman bar, holds up two fingers and says “Give me five beers.”

A Roman walks into an American bar and orders a ‘martinus.’  The Bartender says “Don’t you mean a ‘martini.’  The guy says “If I wanted more than one, I would have said so!”

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate Clauses!

What do you call a moose’s mother?
amamus!

How do you know that ghosts speak Latin?
They’re always saying ‘boō’!

Which god gave birth twelve times?
Hercules... because he went through twelve labors!

What do the French call an explosive device that causes homosexuality?
legēbam

What do the French call a homosexual manager?
legēbās

What do the French call a homosexual robot?
legēbat

What do the French call a homosexual moose?
legēmus

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